THE WAFFLEMAN: Are You An Old Geezer?

Filed under: Columns |

Yo! Have you heard of all the spring activities at the Donatucci Free Library, located at 20th & Shunk Streets in South Philly?  Mark your calendars Apr. 28 (Saturday) and rain date May 5.

This is our big Flea Market Family Fun Day – Flea Market spots are going fast and are only $15. Toys, clothing, housewares, etc. are usually among the choices. Refreshments will be sold by the Donatucci Friends Group.  And look out for the Library Lion walking around shaking hands and greeting everyone with a smile.

Now here we go again with this question: “Are you an old geezer?” You are if you: are polite to strangers ~ changed a typewriter ribbon ~ had only one fat kid in your class ~ just want to be left alone ~ remember when only sailors had tattoos ~ remember when civil rights meant equal rights, not reverse discrimination ~ know how to spell ~ ever waited to hear your favorite song on WIBG.

Or know how to get there better than that GPS gizmo ~ think a nice warm day is just a nice warm day and not proof of impending doom ~ ever paid for your own condoms ~ know how to fix mechanical devices ~ think the phrase “turn of the century” makes you think of the year 1900 ~ remember when Top Gun actually sat in the plane ~ ever bought something with cash don’t go all the way on the first date ~ remember when “books” were made of paper ~ never played pinball.

Or remember when sex scandals could actually ruin a starlet’s career ~ ever got on an airplane without first being searched ~ don’t have a Facebook page ~ ever used the word “gay” to mean carefree or joyous ~ never ate at Sambo’s ~ still have some bell-bottom pants way back in your closet from the first time they were cool ~ remember when every quarter had an eagle on the back ~ hold the door open for ladies ~ remember when tech support answered without an accent ~ can’t remember why you used to laugh at the phrase “You bet your sweet bippy.”

Or think school should be taught in English ~ still think music comes on these black vinyl disks called “records” ~ played with toy guns when you were a kid ~ ever visited a public library ~ remember when Apple was a small, struggling company ~ still have some of those 8-track tapes in the garage ~ love your country ~ actually paid off your mortgage ~ tried to copy Evel Knievel with your Stingray bike ~ ever owned an encyclopedia ~ remember singing Christmas songs in public school ~ ever smoked a cigarette on an airplane ~ don’t pollute because you give a hoot ~ ever used a phone booth. So are you an old geezer?

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