THE WAFFLEMAN: Daffy Definitions, Silly Signs

Yo! Here we go again with these “word sentences” sent to me by Cass T. They are good for the brain but it may take a minute for the light to shine.

ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does. LEFT BANK: What the robber did when his bags were full of money. MISTY: How golfers create divots. PARADOX: Two physicians.

PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm. POLARIZE: What penguins live on. PROMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official.

And how about these genuine signs that my friend Teddy found on the internet and sent them to me. I hope they make you smile. Ready?

Sign spotted in a toilet of a London office: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. — In a laundromat: Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. — In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.

In an English office break room: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. — Outside a second-hand shop: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain? — A notice in health-food shopwindow reads: Closed due to illness.

Spotted in a wildlife park: Elephants – please stay in your car — Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor — Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. — On a repair-shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work.)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once (I hope), it’s your turn to spread the stupidity. Tell it to everyone. We all need a good laugh.

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