THE WAFFLEMAN: Tales From The Tech Support Desk

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customer supportYo! Here we go again with this sent to me by a reader.

CUSTOMER: I’m trying to connect to the internet with your CD, but it just doesn’t work. What am I doing wrong? TECH SUPPORT: You’ve got the CD in the CD drive, right? CUSTOMER: Yeah…. TECH SUPPORT: And what sort of computer are you using? CUSTOMER: Computer? Oh no, I don’t have a computer. It’s in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen….

TECH SUPPORT: What kind of computer do you have? Female CUSTOMER: A silver one.

CUSTOMER: Hi. I can’t get my diskette out. TECH SUPPORT: Have you tried pushing the button? CUSTOMER: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck. TECH SUPPORT: That doesn’t sound good, Did you…? CUSTOMER: Oh, wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet … it’s still on my desk … sorry.

TECH SUPPORT: Click on the “My Computer” icon on the left of the screen. CUSTOMER: Your left or my left?

TECH SUPPORT: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am? CUSTOMER: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

TECH SUPPORT: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter “V” as in Victor, the number “7”. CUSTOMER: Is that 7 in capital letters?

CUSTOMER: I can’t get on the internet. TECH SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password? CUSTOMER: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it. TECH SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was? CUSTOMER: Five stars.

CUSTOMER: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen-saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

TECH SUPPORT: How may I help you? CUSTOMER: I’m writing my first email. TECH SUPPORT: OK, and what seems to be the problem? CUSTOMER: Well, I have the letter “a” in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A female CUSTOMER called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. TECH SUPPORT: Are you running it under Windows? CUSTOMER: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

And last, but not least…. TECH SUPPORT: Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager. CUSTOMER: I don’t have a P. TECH SUPPORT: On your keyboard, Bob. CUSTOMER: What do you mean? TECH SUPPORT: “P” … on your keyboard, Bob. CUSTOMER: I’m not going to do that!

Computers will always be a mystery to some, right?

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