PUT DOWN THOSE TONGS … at Least for a Moment

BY JUDGE PAT DUGAN
Put down your barbecue tongs. Stop throwing the baseball. Come out of the swimming pool. If only for a moment, stop, contemplate and think about the meaning of Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is not about a day off, not about barbecues and not about political photo ops. Whatever your feelings are about the current war or past wars, remember this, all military personnel take an oath for you. They are your fellow citizens. Today, less than one percent of our citizens take this oath. They raise their right hands and swear to defend our Constitution. They are our brave patriots. Some had their lives violently ended honoring this promise:

“I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the uniform code of military justice. So help me God.”

Citizens in the military give Uncle Sam a blank check with their names on it, and offer to answer our nation’s call to arms. The military does not decide to go to war; service members just salute our commander in chief and carry out their orders.

And the numbers of those who have been killed answering that call continue to rise: 4,501 killed and counting in Iraq; 2,396 killed and counting in Afghanistan; 58,209 killed in Vietnam; 36,516 killed in Korea; 405,399 killed in World War II. There have been more than 1.3 million military personnel (and counting) who have been killed for this nation since 1775.

It’s a huge number; but then, Memorial Day is not about the numbers. It’s about the individual human being: the American, the man, the woman, the father, the brother, the spouse, the friend, the son, the uncle, the daughter, and the neighbor who answered the call of our nation to deploy into violence, into war.
It’s about Upper Darby High graduate Mark Patrick Phelan, 47, from Green Lane, Pa., father, uncle, husband and brother, who went to Iraq with the 416th Civil Affairs Battalion (Norristown, Pa.), to win the “hearts and minds” of Iraqis. His remains now lie in Arlington cemetery, with fellow hero-citizens such as Cardinal Dougherty grad Cpl. Michael J. Crescenz, of Philadelphia, a Vietnam veteran who received the Medal of Honor. Phelan was an Army Reservist killed in 2004 by a “homicide bomber” who rammed his explosives-filled car into the Humvee Phelan was riding in. His fellow passenger, Charles Soltes, a doctor from California, was also killed that horrible day in Mosul.

Memorial Day is about Americans like infantry paratrooper Robert Dembowski, Jr., 20, a graduate of Council Rock High, who was killed in Baghdad in 2007 in a small-arms attack.

Memorial Day is about Roger Haller, 49, a Maryland National Guard Command sergeant major whose helicopter was shot down in 2007 in Iraq and who now rests in Arlington in one grave with 11 others who were on the same helicopter.

It’s about Nicole Frye, 19, a Civil Affairs soldier from Wisconsin, who in 2004 was killed in Iraq by an IED as she drove an un-armored Humvee with a plastic tarp for a door.

Memorial Day is for Bradli Coleman, 19, of Ford City, Pa., who in 2004 was killed by a mortar as he slept on his bunk in Mosul, Iraq after working the night shift in Task Force Olympia’s headquarters.

Memorial Day is about Marine John Spahr, 42, a former Philadelphia All-Catholic quarterback at Saint Joseph’s Prep, an F18 pilot that went down in Iraq in 2005.
Memorial Day is about Patrick Ward, 21, a helicopter machine-gunner from Fairmount who did not return home from Vietnam, killed in 1968.

Memorial Day is about Wissinoming native, North Catholic grad and Navy Special Warfare Operator Michael Strange, 25, killed in Afghanistan in 2011.

Every day is Memorial Day for the families, friends and comrades in arms of the fallen. Look into the eyes of a Gold Star Father or Mother and you will see the price that some pay for our freedoms.

Memorial Day is about the infinite void that each deceased hero leaves. It’s about the families and friends of Phelan, Crescenz, Dembowski, Frye, Spahr, Haller, Ward, Coleman, Strange and all the others; about their everyday pain as they continue through life even as their loved ones are now names on marble monuments.
As you enjoy your federal holiday, I urge you to include in your festivities a time to remember what Memorial Day truly means: a time to put down your barbecue tongs and join the families and comrades in arms, and think, if even for just a short time, about the sacrifice signified by the numbers on the walls. Stop your children for a moment and tell them about our nation’s fallen.

I urge you to take your children to a ceremony honoring those who have fallen. Take them to a Memorial Day Parade, like the one in Bridesburg. Put a flag on your lawn.

I urge you to help a veterans’ group. Better yet, help a “survivors’ group.” Attend one of the many services throughout our region, find a service honoring our war dead.

In Philadelphia, the Korean Memorial will hold a memorial service at 11 a.m. and the Philadelphia Vietnam Memorial will hold a service at 12:30 p.m. The Korean and Vietnam Memorials are across the street from each other near Penn’s Landing at Spruce & Front Streets. Nearly every community has a service. If they don’t, start one.

But whatever you do, take a moment to remember your fellow American citizens who sacrificed so much for our nation.
Remember, for at least a moment, they are not numbers. They were lives.

Pat Dugan, Captain, US Army (ret.), is Philadelphia Veterans’ Court Judge.